Welcome to the SeleNation! This is the place where electronic devices of all sorts go to die or worse malfunction intermittently without a reason. Black is white and white is black. Things that just are not possible happen here. I don't know how many times I have talked to Selena on the phone as she is describing a problem and said to her "That's impossible." Things that happen to her are against science and often have no explanation at all.
Just this morning, I woke up to my Blackberry alarm to find the screen blank. Sometimes my Blackberry has crashed but it stopped working completely as it should. This "Blank Blackberry" rang as usual this morning but was completely blank when I picked it up to turn the alarm off. The last one to touch it? Yup. You guessed it.
How many cell phones has she disabled? Two.
Inkjet printers, especially brand new ones, are extremely reliable. Except for Selena's. It would only print one sheet at a time. I spent a few hours on this one. I could not explain it.
Maid of Honour Dale's computer: Selena simply sat down in front of it and all the fonts went huge. No explanation at all.
Last year, Selena helped me with a dental office install. The computers I used have performed flawlessly in every other dental office - I have installed hundreds. But 6 of these machines (almost half) in this one network have had problems. We did the install last February and I am still chasing bugs in these machines whose cause have no scientific explanation. It is the only office Selena has helped me with. Coincidence?
She had a TV short out on her. But the "official" explanation was lightning. I am not so sure any more.
When I first met Selena she told me about how she was cursed with electronics. I listened politely and thought she was just exaggerating. But after observing her the last few years and witnessing many of these events first hand, I am reluctantly starting to believe now.
On to the answer - the largest device Selena has shorted out is, yes, believe it or not, is a 2006 Kia Sportage! Impossible, you say? Not for her. I was there and witnessed this one first hand.
Here is what happened:
This past Halloween we had to move the Kia out of the driveway so Selena could set up the driveway like the hotel room in 1408. No problem. We had a very nice Halloween Night, lots of kids and candy, etc. People loved the 1408 display. After it was all over, I moved her Kia back into the driveway after we cleaned up. Then I moved mine. No problem.
The next morning Selena phoned me to say that she turned the key and it would not start. I figured maybe I left the lights on or something. However, it was not something I would do easily as I have to walk in directly in front of the Kia and would have noticed I had left them on. But as I was using science, I figured this was the only explanation-a dead battery. Selena called Kia roadside assistance and they came and could not start it. It was not the battery. They had to tow it back to Kia. Kia started it eventually but COULD NOT EXPLAIN what had happened.
And this my friends is the SeleNation!
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